A Personal Note On Loss Through Relationships – I Know You Will Come Through It

By January 14, 2013Relationship Counselling

A new year begins, and many of us make our New Year resolutions, and look forward to what the year brings with anticipation and optimism.  But while one side of life does that, another set of people live in a permanent darkness. Not the night but a darkness within their being, their soul. For many they struggle with loss.   Loss affects all of us in some way, and dealing with loss is very hard and cannot be measured.

In relationships, if  a person is divorcing, or if someone close to you has died you feel lost, alone, hopeless, you can be depressed, you may even feel that this has not happened to you, as though you’re watching it going on and just acting a part but it is not real. This is the body and mind protecting you from the whole trauma.

Let me explain, (this is my personal analogy) let us imagine, a big picture on the wall, it is your life your situation and something that is affecting you. You are in the middle of the photo, but your mind body and spirit is overwhelmed with great pain, but your mind is so clever and so is mother nature, she makes you feel that you’re not in this picture but rather you are watching it. You only see the small picture not the whole of it.

In this way you can cope better, and slowly over time we are able to look at more of our life (the bigger picture) as and when the healing process begins.

At this time of year, in the depths of winter with the holidays behind us it can accentuate the pain of loss in relationships! We all have different coping mechanisms but don’t try and battle this alone.   Join a group, talk about your loss, if  you need medical help get it.

Look at your blessings they will be there. But most of all know that in time mother nature will heal you, slowly but surely the pain will cease and you will leave it all behind you – just as a bird sheds its feathers so will you once again soar to great heights.

For more information and inspiration please leave a comment below or use the contact page to get in touch.

Susan

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Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Paula says:

    After recently losing my Dad after a 3 year battle with cancer I worry about my Mum. the above description about being part of a picture has really helped me to empathise with my Mum and how she feels.
    I know it is different for her, losing such a big part of her life. I will use your article to help me help my Mum. Thank you.

    • Susan says:

      Hello Paula
      I am sorry for your loss, sincerely, it must be very hard for your mother and the rest of the family
      I have wrestled with trying to understand the pain of loss for years. I know loss equals pain. How we deal with that pain is the key. Everyone is different, what I have learnt is this.
      I do believe in life after death, for many reasons, spiritual and scientific
      Life has an order, we come we live we die, we can never change that, the physical body when it Mal functions that is what takes life
      When you start to feel the fear about your mother, sit quietly focus on your breath, count in for three and out for three. Its way to focus your mind away from your pain. It is not golden key but it can help you if you can focus to do that.
      Be who you are with your loved ones, support your mum anyway you can, spend time, talk about your father if you wish, cry if you feel like it, anyway you can get the pain out,
      Day by day it will get easier
      I shall say prayer for you Paula this day, for the soul of your dad and you and your mother.
      Warmest
      Susan

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